You showed your hidden tears
The ones at the rear of your eyes
They glistened subtly
in the dark background
I know heros sometimes cry too
It's hard to be the one for everyone
But be assured, my dear
I love you just as much.

Zombish day.. Thank God I had someone to give me a morning call.. If not there was really no need to go to school since it ended at 1130.. haha! So sleepy lor! My gp teacher even asked if I watched WC last night.. Got back my gp marks.. overall 57.. Anyway a group of us decided to spice up our monday..... soo...













Min Shan~ (Don't bother abt me.. haha.. )










Looking for loopholes.. When there's a will, there's a way..










Xenia~ YES!! Look behind us! we found it!!









Ta da! We were out! shan't how you how we got out.. Super unglam.. hahaha!









Bye guys!! *grin*

This will be our ritual every monday.. HAHA~ There will be no more PE lessons already.. But instead we'll have yoga every friday.. Just the thing we need! So we can be more flexible.. *grin*

what a day man~ My life has been so interesting haha!! Yea walking with God is ever so adventurous.. He will bring you places you've nv been.. see things you've nv seen~ I seriously cannot ever imagine my life without God and the church.. These 2 are my life's greatest gifts..

Anyway, our sub zone went to ecp for an outing after service.. haha! It was wet but fun la. Our team won!!! $40 voucher to Swensen's.. hee!! So a few of us went there after dinner for the earthquake haha! Shan't talk much la.. tired already..










HAHA! the xiao bais









cg members =)












Xiao Mao's bday..









Beloved n256..









E99~









combined force









belinda~ Wah so not shy. Nvm i like haha!









aileen to the rescue!! Tata taaaa ta tata taaaa..










Steph was so determined to save me.. I LOVE YOU!!!!









Powerpuff girls sia..









steph david sandy









I will still love you!










Steph.. i think we seriously need to do sth abt our skin haha!










ber and sandy.. While waiting for our EARTHQUAKE! Aiyo so not enthu! haha!

Ok ok stop.. wah a lot of steph's pics.. But I'm so not gonna show my geisha pic!!! NOO steph!! Haha! Keep it between us ok.. When you are feeling lousy u can always take a look at it to cheer you up haha! I'm feeling wei da.. haha!

Oh, school tmr.... quite excited la..

haha what a day man.. met weiying in the afternoon at orchard.. SHOPPING!!!!! Ok la~ In the end bought a top only.. If you know me I'm a very fussy buyer.. Very super duper.. haha! So most of the time I'd end up not buying anything =) Went for Sun's event with 93.3 after that at music dreamer live cafe.. Man she was/is good!!! I like her new album very much.. Glory to glory man..

David~ HAHA I think he looks very nice in this pic..
Pink~ Like after how many shots la.. HAHA!
Wow who's that!!! *beaming*

You know there is one kind of people I admire most-those who persevere. I think they are so courageous. We can never know what is going to happen next, nevertheless these people fight on, not even knowing if it will be in vain. That takes faith, lots of them. I love that fighting spirit!!! And not many will do that... It's like the marathon, hundreds start off but few finished the race. Of course it's easy to start, we only have to make a decision to want to do something. But I also realise to continue the race, it's not as difficult as well! You know what? Similarly, we only have to make a decision to stay on! There's power in a thought (that's what I learnt ytd). And most of the time we have liberty to choose what we want to say to ourselves. A thought can either gravitate you towards faith or fear.. And at the end of the day, it's all up to us to choose..

End of mid yr!! Happiness.. Ok la so so only actually.. No more late nights!!! No more staying home!! =) Erm that's like only for saturday and sunday..? HAHA.. and then school starts again and everything else.....Life of a student.. =)

Today! A few of us went to pluck rambutans near the school's bball courts!! LOL~ It was hilarious laaaaa.... Man should have brought my cam~ HAHA.. nvm try again on monday!! HAHA! After that xenia and minshan joined me for this combined zone event in jw church haha! They kept laughing lor. Cos Pst Aries said that "Being born into a Christian family doesn't make you a Christian.. Just like being born in an airport doesn't make you an aeroplane!" LOL~ They were at it the whole day after that.. HAHA! After that N256 came to my house for cgm.. YES! Finally can send the east and north people off.. HAHA!!

Happy happy day.. =)

Many times you have fallen
But not once you face ground
Evidence of battles on your knees
Yet you stand up strong
That is why I love you

In the stillness of the night
You stay awake
I know you have your fears
Sometimes you let them show
Yet you fight on
That is why I love you

No, don't doubt yourself
You always do the best you know how
By that alone I feel the most blessed
Happy Fathers' Day.

Love,
Your little girl always
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Going to write this in a card for him.. Am I sweet or what! HAHA! Erm.. the 3rd stanza is a little 'distorted' though..

I had a great day!!! (though it was really hard to wake up) Cos sis idy wanted me to stand in the front row of choir! =) (can be nearer to the BVs) hahaha..It was really stretching though, but it's always a joy to be singing in front of the church.. Somehow all your tiredness will disappear while singing... And during worship, God really touched me lor and tears began to swell.. When that happened you wouldn't even care who were looking or if your makeup would be smudged.. You just wanted to cling on to that precious touch.. =) hee..

*Join chc choir!!!*

Anyway it's Fathers' Day today! =) My dad wants me to stay at home to study instead.. Good right.. Well, every other day can be a Fathers' Day ma.... =) Actually it'd mean more if we celebrate it on other days.. Or for no occasion at all.. Like Vday~ =) Lovey-dovey mood now huh? Haha.. Love is in the air~~ Can you feel it?? =)

Who is that stranger walking beside me?
The one I told my fears to
Oh it seems so long ago now...
Are you still the one I used to know?

There's an emptiness between us
A gap that cannot be filled
Have we drifted so far
That nothing can bring us back?

---------------------------------------------

aileen, don't be silly~ says:
eh bro jeff...
aileen, don't be silly~ says:
i went for bv audition on tue.. didn't get in
::: jeff ::: says:
hmm....nvm la
::: jeff ::: says:
it only means u can improve more and more!
::: jeff ::: says:
the day will come, just persevere
::: jeff ::: says:
hang on
::: jeff ::: says:
dun give in, dun give up
::: jeff ::: says:
i know one day u'll be there
::: jeff ::: says:
i'm sure

Sometimes when a part of you stop believing in yourself, it's the people around you who still believe in you, that keep you moving on... Thanks friends I think I've the best cheerleaders ever! ;)

In my hiding place
I am all alone
I wanna be found by only You..

In our secret place
There's only me and You
No one can tell us what to do..

My hand in Yours
We walk ahead
Never looking back..

What a day! Went for bv audition (finally).. But I didn't get in la. The whole procedure was emotional draining.. There were butterflies in my stomach even when I was in the train on the way there.. then in the bus to suntec.. right up to the building.. then! About 5 mins before my turn I didn't feel nervous at all! Even until I enter the room and greeted the judges (sis bel and ali).. Even until I said "The song i'm going to sing is 'If I Kissed You' by Corrainne May" Ok still not nervous.. UNTIL! I started to sing.. oh my goodness lor. To start off the room was kinda small with nothing else. So when I sang my voice was so loud! So it was kinda scary to hear it actually.. I mean I didn't expect that.. Then I felt really nervous. Like every mistake would be magnified.. My voice started to quaver like I never expected it.. (At least there was sound coming out.. For the et zone people, if you remember there was once I shared my testi during one of the meetings.. I couldn't even start!!! So I just stood on stage and kept trying to make some sound.. So after a few funny noises the friction slowly got lubricated so it was fine at the end.. Oh some even thought I was crying LOL!!) Ok that was bad.. And so now it was quite an improvement I think.. Imagine singing in front of 2 of the best singers in our church.. But too bad nervous breakdown.. I even forgot my lyrics! So I paused a while and that was bad~

Wanna know their comments? (Write the good ones first =P)
-They like my attitude woo~
-Sis ali said my voice was nice when I sang the low parts =)!
-They said I enjoyed the song.. (Well I tried to 'integrate' myself into the song.. But nervous and enjoy don't seem to go together! huh?)

Ok now the bad ones..
-Too nervous
-Pitching wasn't right for some parts
-My voice was too airy
-Nasal problem

YA!!! See.. Clarinase is only good for nose.. My nasal passage is still blocked! So I must see a doctor to remove the excess mucus between my nose and my throat.. I don't know what region is that called.. And ya pitching.. Steph told me to try singing my the piano.. And ya I wanna take up vocal lessons! After my A lvl.. So much for now..

You know actually I'm not a 'vocal' person, as in I find it hard to express myself in words.. That's why I tend to pay attention to lyrics of songs which expresses what I can't.. As a young girl I was really quiet and soft-spoken so most of the time I was not involved in class discussion and stuff and I was mostly in a corner hahaha.. So I guess sometimes a part of that still manifest itself.. And so I don't really dare to speak in front of a lot of people.. If I ever do, you will start to hear my quavering voice =) So that's a part which I have to work on. I guess I've really come a long way man.. *pat myself on my head* (ok looks silly I know wahaha) And my dear friends thanks for shaping me into the person I am now and thanks for your constant encouragement and support which keep me going =) Of course if I nv been to church I guess I'd still be the same old Aileen that they used to know.. Hee.. Thank God for changing me! =)

*Still a long long long way to my dreamsss*

Ah! I was telling cai 'My life is so boring now lor..' YES!! No mood to go out cos there'll be this nagging feeling telling you to study.. So yea have been studying.. Pok: Wah you chiongster meh? NO!! That's why it takes a lot out of me to sit down and start studying.. But I have to... Not born smart what. wahahaha..














I think I need to do that more than it does...... I always wonder if our body actually burns a lot of calories when we think hard.. If that's the case I'd be more than willing to sit down the whole day doing some deep thinking.. wahah...






























Hmmmm let's see who has thicker layers of blubber...

















Can I adopt that penguin? hehe.. Hmm actually something quite freaky happened this morning.. I dreamt that someone told me "It's 10 o'clock already.." And I woke up and checked the clock and true enough it was exactly 10!! Unexplainable phenomenon huh..

*Ok off to the library* (Sounds nerdy?)

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme..
Howie Day-Collide

You know if life is all about winning, then we will all be very miserable. Cos there will always be so many so many people better than us in one way or another.. So truly the only competitor should be ourselves. I get a sense of satisfaction whenever I outdo myself, knowing that I've grown a little.. Slowly but steadily.

Talking about this, 'nothing is fair.' Yea I agree to a large extent. Say for talent time or some beauty contest or whatever competition that involves judging.. How fair can it get? There are only a handful of judges who determine the outcome to start with. Or even for examinations where there are so many markers with different standards.. How fair can it get? So my conclusion is to do your best in whatever you set your mind to do and at the end of the day, you know you have done well and deserve to give yourself a pat on your back (don't do it literally though wahaha). Oh oh oh but they don't deserve to win!!! That shouldn't be our concern. Just be happy for them. ;)

AHH this is madness! These 4 days of EMERGE were truly incredible!!! Our church went up to a totally new level!!! Stay tune, I believe this is only the beginning to something greater. Let's watch how God astounds us!!

Briefly sum up,

Day 1

I couldn't make it!!!! Cos it was my dad's bday.. Went down with the et zone to support Sun though. She was and is phenomenal! So proud of her.














If you look longer.. 3 of us look alike!!! Sisters forever ah. wahah..
















Dad and his friends.. Imagine having dinner with them.. Who are mostly in their 50s.. It was pretty interesting actually as they kept talking about politics. So most of the time I stayed quiet and ate the food. =)

Day 2

Pink had her word power challenge!














Sitted far right















Her team =) So proud of u girl! Well done~~~

This day was really gd~ Presence of God was SO strong at night.. It was like a spiritual bath for all of us. We were refreshed, renewed and transformed. Not forgetting Kelly Poon, Junyang and Taufik came to perform too! hehe.. Taufik looked real charismatic.. with the eyeliner. Wahaha.. They sang real well. Hope that Michael Buble comes next year whahaha..

Day 3

Had my 100m race.. The runners were really good!! It didn't help my morale to see them putting on their spike shoes before the race haha.. Don't know my position but i think I was 5th out of 8.. Hehe..
















Haha that guy.. LOl..

We then went down to watch TALENT TIME!!! It was really awesome. The contestants showed off the creativity and talents that God has placed in them.. Very very impressive.. I should say it was a world-class standard. Abel from my school got in third for the solo singing! That was really a manifestation of a hidden talent hahaha..
















That's N256. Cute hor? haha..

Day 4

Saved the best for the last! Yea! Bird had her spelling bee finals and she got into the TOP 2!!!!! Told you gingko nuts work!!! haha.. So proud of her! You rock birdy~














Woo.. nervousness~














Birdy in action! *Chirp*















Red yellow blue green! wahaha.. Presenting to you the Fuhuaians! whaha.. Grew up with these girls.. Look how far we've come!! Can't help but to laugh at our past LOL~















Mian qiang smile lor.. wahah.. Nvm la.. Someone was in ED HARDY sia...... LOL~

Guess who came today? Niu nai! Haha.. He actually looks better off screen. He performed with Sun there were an incredible pair.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So many events I just can't write them all here.. But amist of all the fun we had, we had a great encounter with God. Best of both worlds! Literally? haha.. Who says being holy means you have to abstain from the type of food you eat.. the clothes you wear.. the music you listen to? The religious can't really internalize that we can love God whole-heartedly and enjoys the gifts and talents that God gave us.

Anyway how can I miss out the CHOIR!!! It was really fun serving God in such a way! Though it could get real tiring at times because each time you go on stage you can't afford not to put all your energy in.. But I felt really privileged to be inside.. We got to see thousands of handphone lights waving during niu nai and Sun's performance.. Got to see the entire Hall 8 jumping and praising God.. Yea it was just incredible.. A sight I will never forget. =)

Oh! I have the answer to Qn 3.
Someone/thing: "You never learn the difference between boiling and evaporation meh?" "aileen ah.. nv revise..."
Oh well....

Now I have another qn..
What do you get when you mix a human, mouse and goat together? =)
Do you get a human freak? mouse freak? or a goat freak?
Would you rather just dissolve it or let it live?

For me I would erm................. =)

I was wondering, who actually read my blog everytime? It's quite scary to see someone I wasn't close to link me without asking for my permission.. But anyway there's nothing much to hide.. It just makes me cringe thinking someone you don't know actually knows about you.. Haha..

I have some questions tonight.
1) Why is the switch for the water heater needs a relatively large amount of energy to press?

2) Why do they have to wrap slices of cheese in plastic which is so hard to open?? As in there are a few 'stages' to opening it.. Skill is required. Mine often ends up with a few crumbs here and there..

3) If the boiling point for water is 100 degree Celsius then how can a lake dry up? (not too hard for cp perhaps)

4) What happens if you fall into the slit of the ground after an earthquake?

5) Why is love so complicating...

6) Are all good things worth the wait?

7) How is it that you can love and yet dislike someone at the same time??

8) Why do tears form when you cry? Why do you even cry when you feel sad? Isn't there other ways to express your sadness..

Okok I shall stop here.. As you can see, there's a weird trend in my flow of thought.. From logical to illogical? From answerable to unanswerable.. So I can conclude, as I begin to think too much, things will not make sense. Hence, don't think too much. =)

You must have heard of the earthquake in Indonesia.. and the upcoming volcano as well.. Sometimes I can't help but to think that some countries can never get out of poverty.. (too absolute?) We need the cooperation of Mother Nature. Indonesia is a beautiful country actually. The people are hospitable.. And I won't mind going back again.

Anyway, yesterday I went for a funeral with my dad.. It was our first time attending such event.. It was held in Living Sanctuary Brethen Church at Hougang. When I first stepped in I felt really at home, as in it was a very homely and inviting. Maybe cos it resembled the first church that I went, with typical classrooms and a small cafeteria. The funeral was for the pastor of that church who was knocked down by a motorcycle in Indonesia during a mission trip. That reminded me of how close I was in having the same fate as her.. If I took one extra step last friday morning, I'd have been flung off far by a motorcycle. I wouldn't know what would have become of me now.. You know it's just not typical of me to be so alert on a morning to cause myself to stop in time. And the motorcycle just zoomed past me without even slowing a bit. So that was how close and I thank God for protection.

Anyway back to the funeral..
I don't know who was that actually, neither did my dad.. It was his primary school friend's pastor. Though we didn't know the pst, we couldn't help but to grieve along with them.. The whole atmosphere was solemn, with occassional whines and cries from the kids. The eulogies were touching and throughout I was trying hard to subdue myself from crying (not used to crying in front of my dad la.) From what I heard, I've learnt a thing or two. People remember you for how much you have make a difference and touch their lives, not how much you earn or achieve. And that heros are not really the leaders but the ones who push the leader up.. They remembered her as an encourager, self-sacrificing and non-judgemental. So what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?

We then moved to Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium. It was a neat and peaceful place. More hymns and eulogies.. Then we proceeded to the viewing hall. Imagine being surrounded by people who cried and weeped.. Not a nice feeling.. At the end of the day, I was emotionally exhausted and actually slept before 1. =)

P.S: There's a reason why some parents dislike their kids to ride a motorcycle. =) Recently, my dad nearly knocked into one as well.. A friend told the 2 most dangerous vehicles on the roads are motorcycles and........ taxis. =)

One thing always intrigues me.. Why is a social worker's salary so low?? I mean relatively low.. I know the name isn't very glam like a doctor's or a lawyer's. But social workers deals with psychological needs as much as a doctor with physical needs.. Or is it to say that physical needs are more important than psychological ones? But I think it can't be compared like that cos a doctor has more responsibilities.. =) But the idea is there.. =)

Peter said something that really hit me.. cos i was complaining to him that the salary is low.. the increment is not much..... and he said sth like if you do your best in it, ppl will start coming to you.. Like if you're a road sweeper.. be the best road sweeper.. Yea and since my passion is there I don't really mind the pay, but if I become the CEO or whatever I will make sure I up the salary first thing. Wahaha. Like it's so ironic? Social workers get peanuts and yet have to brighten up people's lives.. wahhaha.. So yes, passion is a must. =) If I ever get 3 As for my A level, I think I will go take social work as well... Maybe in future the demand for social workers will increase.. hehe.. Donno to be happy or sad though ;)

*It's ok to be different*

What a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last day of the term..
Me and minshan actually sneaked out of school via the loose fence near the basketball court wahhahaah.. drama mama.. Have 2 red scratches at my back now.. wahha.. nvm it was so thrilling lor wahahha.. All of us were so not in the mood to study today.. Thank God it was only a short day.. Cos we ponned maths =) Pei minshan and zhaoying to JP.. ms actually went to pierce her ear! Nervousness wahha.. It actually felt like stapling the last time i did.. hahah..





















Sunrise outsite my window in the "Isolation Room"....
Every morning (if I manage to wake up early..) I will sit by the window and watch the sunrise while having my breakfast.. It's such a sight to behold.. Esp when the sky is red some days.. But in less than 30mins the whole sky is brightened already.. and it's time to change and go school. =)





















Yee Kiat with his new white specs!
hahaha.. I really like it a lot leh. Think it suits him very much.. Nice hor? =) Had cg meeting just now.. Man it was really good la.. The presence of God was SO strong la.. All of us were so touched by God and were crying.. I mean at that moment you will just feel that your strength is just so puny compared to God's.. that.. what you have is really nothing compared to God.. That's why we need Him.. =)

*It's ok to dream big and be laughed at*